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Cinta, it's me, Relationship

Fling or Something?

Do you ever have any crush with someone and you think that maybe he or she would be the one that you’ve been looking for?


Do you ever have any feelings, that somehow, maybe the man/woman you’re talking with, right here, right now, is someone that could be your number one candidate to ‘rescue’ your lonely nights?

I do.

I’m a loner, ya, saya akui itu.
In the surface, saya seolah perempuan yang nggak bisa jauh dari canda dan guyonan nggak penting. Yang hobi tersenyum sampai disangkain orang sinting, well… I can’t blame them! πŸ™‚
But, really.
Sebetulnya saya tuh LONER abis and I just realized it, a couple of weeks ago, ketika tiba-tiba saya merasa sangat-sangat hampa ketika sampai di dalam rumah, and nobody was home.

Jadi kalau saya punya crush or sort of feeling with a guy, mungkin bisa dibilang cukup sering. Makanya ketika saya benar-benar sayang dengan seseorang, that someone really just assumes that as a practical joke, as my way to break the ice… and etc, etc. Saya selalu dianggap becanda dan dengan pengalaman yang sudah-sudah, saya nggak bisa dengan marahnya bilang, “Lah, nggak bisa gitu, dong.. Kok kamu menyimpulkannya kayak gitu sih!”

Because in my previous experiences..
I fell in love too easy.
And later on, I just realized, that I have to stop doing so.

Karena apa?
Bukan hanya karena agar suatu saat nanti orang yang benar-benar saya sayangi itu mengerti kalau saya nggak becanda…
Bukan hanya karena suatu saat nanti saya nggak ingin kalau ini akan dijadikan bahan untuk tidak mempercayai isi hati saya yang sesungguhnya..
tapi juga karena..
for most of the times, saya keliru mengartikan signal-signal yang berkedip-kedip ketika dekat dengan seseorang. I really thought that it meant something, tapi pada akhirnya, saya tahu… kalau he was only a fling *deuh, jahat bener sih lo La!* Ok.. maksudnya *try to be more polite* he was only a guy.. a great guy… yang bisa diajak becanda, ketawa, nonton bareng, makan bareng, hang out… as a friend.

I will keep in mind, that I have to be more careful on judging my own heart.
Is this a fling?
Or is this a real damn something?
A new resolution for 2009… DO NOT HURRY! Slow down, enjoy the moments, and just believe.. that if I’m destined to be with someone… No matter that he’s now just a fling.. or even something.. he will be the man who gives me a diamond ring!

Tidur ah..
good nite everyone..

About Lala Purwono

Published writer (or used to be, darn!). A wife. A mom. A friend that you can always count on.


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Catatan Harian

December 2008

Celotehan Lala Purwono

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