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feel, it's me

too available

Sometimes,
I hate my self for being too available for someone I really like.

Whenever he calls… I pick up his call, like I would be dead if I don’t.
Kalau dia mengirim SMS… saya akan segera membalas. I won’t keep him wait. Well, kecuali saya memang benar-benar nggak denger bunyi dering SMS, HP ketinggalan, atau saya sedang ngambek nggak jelas sama dia.
Kalau dia mengajak keluar… dinner, casual lunch, anything… saya tidak berpikir panjang untuk bilang iya. Ok, a little drama at first, tapi ujung-ujungnya.. saya tetap bilang, “Okay. Kapan? Sekarang? Kamu jemput atau ketemu di sana?”

And I hate myself for being too available.

Apalagi ketika saya melakukan apa yang dia lakukan,
dia tidak se-excited saya saat menerima sms.
dia nggak ‘mati’ kalau membiarkan telepon saya berdering..
dan enteng bilang, “hmm.. jangan sekarang deh… aku lagi sibuk…” ketika saya ingin ketemu.

Damn.
I hate it.
Saya nggak mau jadi perempuan yang terlalu available.
I’m tired become one… for twenty eight years and 10.5 months…I think, that’s enough.

Ya.
I had enough.
Just enough.

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About Lala Purwono

Dreamer. Writer. Lover. Follow her twits @lalapurwono.

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December 2008
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Celotehan Lala Purwono

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