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I'm In Love

somehow, someday, somewhere….

A goodbye note for my loved one, Pacar. Somehow, someday, someway… we’ll remember our goodbye talk and regret everything we said this afternoon…. *coz I know we still have it… it’s still there… but cannot be reached with our both hands… and we don’t have any guts to try…*

Remember this song, Pacar?

There’s a place for us
Somewhere a place for us
Peace and quiet and open air
Wait for us
Somewhere

When our love was young and new… when you promised me that you would never stop trying.. no matter how hopeless? And you said… “Sweety, do you know this song? It’s dedicated to you… It reminds me of you…”

Remember?

There’s a time for us
Some day a time for us
Time together
And time to spare
Time to learn
Time to care
Someday

I know it’s not easy. I know our love was too complicated. We need our best effort to keep it alive. We need to fire our passions day after day to keep ourself away from any needs to stay off each other. Just by the thought that someday, somehow, I’d spend the rest of my life with you, I did my best to put my tears away from my eyes. I smiled… I laughed… Because I knew that every bitter fight that we had.. it was a learning time, it was our way to get close to each other… it was our way to understand how fragile we are… Because we ARE fragile… Now I know that for sure…

Somewhere
We’ll find a new way of living
We’ll find a way of forgiving
Somewhere

I still remember how we always made up afterwards… After those unnecessary fights we had… After those cryings… After those jealousy… After those heartbreaking moments… We always made up. We held each other tight, tried to forget everything, and you kissed my forehead and said, “Sorry, Sweety… Aku sudah nyakitin kamu…” And then I always said, “Nggak, Cinta… Aku yang terlalu bodoh sudah over sensitive…” Then you kissed me again, like you never kissed me before.

*Geez, saya nangis sekarang… I love him.. I still do… Why do I have to lose a beautiful guy like him? What kind of lesson did I learn? Coz I don’t know… I only know that my heart is breaking into pieces…*

And now…

You gave up. You said, “Sorry… I’m going to leave you… It’s not going anywhere… I can’t… I can’t go  any further… It’s going to be harder each day, Sweety… We have to end it now… We’re just killing ourself… Don’t you realize that?”

So there… I was crying. When I realize, that there’ll be no longer Kiss and Make Up after having a horrible fight. When I realize, it was our last fight and there’ll be no longer Pacar in my life.. Not as my boyfriend, not as the love of my life, but a bestfriend, that promised me to be there anytime I need him (hey! I need you right now! Will you come running to me and hold me like you used to do?)

Guess…

There’s no way of forgiving…

Or our ways of living…

Coz this afternoon, before five PM, a damn call from you, my sweetest Pacar, has ended everything…

And now, I have to believe that this is not going to be happened:

There’s a place for us
A time and place for us
Hold my hand
And we’re halfway there
Hold my hand
And I’ll take you there
Somehow
Someday
Somewhere

Because…

at this very moment… somehow… someday… somewhere… there’ll be no place for us.

Ps: Pacar, Lala masih cinta sekali sama kamu dan berharap kalau kita nggak bikin keputusan yang salah. I’m going to miss your voice… I’m going to miss your face… I’m going to miss your calls in the morning and our late nite talks… I’m going to miss your possesive attitudes.. your jealousy… your stories about everything…

HELL YEAH! I’M GOING TO MISS YOU! SO F**KING MUCH!!!

About Lala Purwono

Dreamer. Writer. Lover. Follow her twits @lalapurwono.

Discussion

8 thoughts on “somehow, someday, somewhere….

  1. Hei-hei-hei… kenapa mesti mengumpat begitu, Lala…

    kebiasaan tolol seorang Lala nih, Mas… payah ya?😦

    Posted by Daniel Mahendra | August 1, 2008, 5:23 am
  2. r u okey La?

    I’m trying… I am trying, EmiChan…

    Posted by Ikkyu_san | August 1, 2008, 7:27 am
  3. Istighfar La…
    Nyebut, but but but…
    Dunia belum berakhir (ah, jadi ingat Shaden)

    hehe… pertamanya bilang istighfar… terus nyebut-but-but… *langsung jegleg gitu Bang.. hehe*
    Yap.. it’s not automatically over, indeed. Inget Shaden? Karena saya cantik kayak vokalisnya ya? (empunya blog lagi bego dan pingin narsis hehe)

    Posted by heryazwan | August 1, 2008, 7:36 am
  4. Maybe he just another fool to let you go..

    hmmm… is he?

    Posted by akokow | August 1, 2008, 8:13 am
  5. Life goes on La …
    Life goes on …

    There’s still so many beautifull things and thinks left … to explore in the world …

    I am sure that you will meet another good guy …
    That’s better than ever …

    Someday …Somewhere … Somehow …
    (just like you both always said …)

    Salam saya

    Ya, Om… I’ll collect my pieces… but it’ll take time to recover… because I lost him, right in the moment that I love him the most.. Itu yang sangat susah… Karena Lala nggak pernah nyangka kalau kejadiannya begitu cepat and he decided to end our relationship… Wish I knew, that our last kiss is going to be the last one… atau pelukan itu adalah pelukan yang terakhir… aku pasti akan berat banget membiarkan dia pergi dari depan rumah aku………. *sedih ya?*

    Somewhere.. somehow… someday… ini belum selesai, Om… we’ll never know…

    Posted by nh18 | August 1, 2008, 9:27 am
  6. bu kenapa bu???

    cerita cerita???

    agak kaget nih bacanya…

    hm…

    only time will tell ya…

    keep on ur track yaaaaa

    *hugs*

    hmm.. only time will tell, Nat…
    tapi setidaknya, even cuman sebentar, gua ngerasa hubungan gua dengan orang inilah yang diawali dan diakhiri dengan indah… *eventhough I couldn’t help it to cry… gila aja, gua kehilangan orang yang gua sayangi, masa gua ga nangis sih Bu???*

    Posted by natazya | August 1, 2008, 9:44 am
  7. yah lala.. koq berakhir kaya gini.. u_u ikut sedih la..
    saya juga lagi sedih soalnya.. nggk bisa lupa mantan setelah 3tahun lebih bersama..
    ah..sudah lah ..
    apa ini gara2 lala masi inget sama luka orang jelek itu?
    smoga dia balik lagi la.. wish the best for you jeung!

    Posted by Dy™ | August 1, 2008, 1:24 pm
  8. semangad cari cowok baru

    Posted by niaalive | August 4, 2008, 5:58 pm

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